Grace Flows Down.

I am a perfectionist at heart. Well, actually a reverse perfectionist which maybe even worse because I tend to get stuck like a deer in the head lights if I am not able to perform a task perfectly. I find it hard to accomplish a lot of things even though I have some big dreams.

I can keep the house clean and manage the laundry… for the most part. However there is a task I was asked to do and accepted responsibility to do but feel like I am stuck spinning my wheels.

Oh it’s not entirely my fault. The road to completion is in the process of being revamped. * For more than a year I have felt as if someone dropped me off in the middle of a blizzard on a steep-snowy-icy-mountain pass without a 4x4 or chains to get me to where I need to go.

I’m not mad. It’s nobody’s fault. On the contrary I want to please so bad I tend to make myself sick. It has in fact been the perfect breeding ground for the voice of the accuser of the brethren; and although I recognize and can combat that wicked voice even the strongest warrior gets fatigued and discouraged. Somehow in that place of mental fatigue those seeds of discouragement took root I lost my perspective. I started to believe the lie that I dropped the ball that everyone was talking about the terrible job I was doing and because of this I felt like I was floundering. And I started to feel like I was spiritually floundering. Everything I tried to do or every attempt I made to progress landed flat.

That all changed at church a couple of weeks ago during worship. We were singing Grace Flows Down. As I was singing with my arms in the air praising the Lord in my mind’s eye I saw His Grace, His Blood, flowing over me from the tip of my head to the bottom of my feet and I am free!

Whatever my failings (whether true failings, or things twisted in my mind to look like failings...) they are covered. Whatever I lack He supplies. Whether I am battle weary or victorious whenever I need Him He is there.




(*As a side note the Ministry Information that was being revamped that I have been waiting for over a year was just recently released and I am now learning online how to ‘do’ this!)