STOP!

        Not too long ago I found myself buried in my only little world. Baseball season was in full swing, I was picking up extra hours at work, and because of this the laundry pile, the house cleaning and the to-do checklist seemed conquerless.

One day amidst my frenzy to check things off I decided I had enough time to squeeze in a quick walk. Although the day was overcast there wasn’t more than a drizzle so I decided to walk outside instead of my popping in my usual walking DVD. I thought the fresh air would do me some good.

Off I went marching up the pit run on our driveway. As I turned onto the county road and started down the gravelly hill I mentally started going through my to-do list for the next millennia. The pace of my mind and my steps were in perfect rhythm; and although I am the first to admit I am no speed walker the swirling in my mind was strengthening to hurricane force.

STOP! Is what I heard from deep within my spirit and I swear it was almost audible. What else could I do? I stopped dead in my tracks. I looked up from the gravel road and what surrounded me was a silence that was almost tangible; it was peacefully deafening broken only momentarily by the chirping of Meadow Larks.

Spring on this prairie is beautiful. I drank it in. I realized I was missing it. I was becoming so obsessed with the thought of perfectly executing the expectations I had of me I was missing out on the beauty the Lord had around me. Not only the beauty of the place in which I live but the beauty in those with whom I live.

 I realized how stressed out I was becoming trying to make myself and my life something it was never going to be ~ HGTV-after the-renovation’s-complete~ perfect. It dawned on me if I didn’t stand down a little off the to-do list not only might I not be around to finish it off there wasn’t going to be anyone around to do the list for. I was on the verge of making myself sick and really not being nice to anyone around me in the process.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not abandoning my housework altogether that’d be foolish. What I am trying to do is find a balance between what I wish was reality, but isn’t realistic, and what is reality. Living two miles down a dirt road in the middle of a prairie in a house with wood floors, two boys, a dog and a husband…my house will never be HGTV perfect.

What I am trying to do is to learn to rest and relax in and amongst my life to shut out the to-do list after a certain time at night. In this age of ever on electronics, opportunities, and obligations I am trying to find a balance to give myself permission to rest, to read and relax even when there is something that needs done. Because reality is there will always be something needing done.

I think of David and Psalm 23 “He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.” (NLT) The Message adds “True to your word, you let me catch my breath and send me in the right direction.”

I have those things here, the green prairie, the seasonal babbling brook, the chance to catch my breath and rest. I just have to choose to make good use of them. I control the on/off switch to the activity in my life and I need to learn to use it to shut off the mental check list and just breathe.