STOP!

        Not too long ago I found myself buried in my only little world. Baseball season was in full swing, I was picking up extra hours at work, and because of this the laundry pile, the house cleaning and the to-do checklist seemed conquerless.

One day amidst my frenzy to check things off I decided I had enough time to squeeze in a quick walk. Although the day was overcast there wasn’t more than a drizzle so I decided to walk outside instead of my popping in my usual walking DVD. I thought the fresh air would do me some good.

Off I went marching up the pit run on our driveway. As I turned onto the county road and started down the gravelly hill I mentally started going through my to-do list for the next millennia. The pace of my mind and my steps were in perfect rhythm; and although I am the first to admit I am no speed walker the swirling in my mind was strengthening to hurricane force.

STOP! Is what I heard from deep within my spirit and I swear it was almost audible. What else could I do? I stopped dead in my tracks. I looked up from the gravel road and what surrounded me was a silence that was almost tangible; it was peacefully deafening broken only momentarily by the chirping of Meadow Larks.

Spring on this prairie is beautiful. I drank it in. I realized I was missing it. I was becoming so obsessed with the thought of perfectly executing the expectations I had of me I was missing out on the beauty the Lord had around me. Not only the beauty of the place in which I live but the beauty in those with whom I live.

 I realized how stressed out I was becoming trying to make myself and my life something it was never going to be ~ HGTV-after the-renovation’s-complete~ perfect. It dawned on me if I didn’t stand down a little off the to-do list not only might I not be around to finish it off there wasn’t going to be anyone around to do the list for. I was on the verge of making myself sick and really not being nice to anyone around me in the process.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not abandoning my housework altogether that’d be foolish. What I am trying to do is find a balance between what I wish was reality, but isn’t realistic, and what is reality. Living two miles down a dirt road in the middle of a prairie in a house with wood floors, two boys, a dog and a husband…my house will never be HGTV perfect.

What I am trying to do is to learn to rest and relax in and amongst my life to shut out the to-do list after a certain time at night. In this age of ever on electronics, opportunities, and obligations I am trying to find a balance to give myself permission to rest, to read and relax even when there is something that needs done. Because reality is there will always be something needing done.

I think of David and Psalm 23 “He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.” (NLT) The Message adds “True to your word, you let me catch my breath and send me in the right direction.”

I have those things here, the green prairie, the seasonal babbling brook, the chance to catch my breath and rest. I just have to choose to make good use of them. I control the on/off switch to the activity in my life and I need to learn to use it to shut off the mental check list and just breathe. 

Power.

Let’s face it. We Americans are addicted to power. Ok let me rephrase that. We Americans are addicted to electricity. We are addicted to power as in the one that is in control but I am not going there; at least not any time in the foreseeable future.

We depend upon electricity to fuel a large percentage of our everyday lives. I was aware of this fact when we were in Nicaragua as rolling blackouts were the norm. One time I think we had power for about 20 minutes total in a four day span.

I was without power for two days in a row here in the US earlier this month (not to mention prior to the complete outage we were without power several hours two days in a row) I was once again reminded how electricity is the one thing that keeps our lives moving with ease.

Want a hot shower? Want a cup of coffee? Want to nuke last night’s pizza for breakfast? Want a tall cold glass of mil to wash down that double-chocolate-chip muffin from Costco? Want to post how bad it stinks to be without electricity on FaceBook? Want to pay a bill, check your bank account, or buy something online?

While it is true there are alternate power sources for most of these appliances – natural gas, propane, wind, or solar – we Americans are dependant upon and for the most part lost without our electricity. Most of our entertainment comes from electrically charged devices; TV, Wii, Xbox, iphone, Laptops, etc. etc.

I originally wrote most of this blog post by hand. Let me tell you my penmanship leaves much to be desired these days.

When the power is not there I crave it. I miss it. I long for it.

Oh how I wish I was at the place where I craved, missed, and longed for the Holy Spirit if I were to miss a day of His power in my life. But I don’t. The spiritual blackouts may not come as often as they used to but unfortunately they still do come.

What's Your Dream?

I watched Martin Luther King Jr.’s I have a dream speech today. It always sends chills through my body.

According to different sources MLK Jr. was about to sit down when singer Mahalia Jackson urges him ‘Tell them about your dream Martin. Tell them about the dream.”
So many things go through my mind when I think about this. It was at a respected friend’s urging MLK Jr. launched into the most remembered part of his speech. A speech which many have declared the best speech of the 20th century perhaps even of all time. How fortunate he was to have a friend present who would urge him on to his greatness.

I think this begs the question what’s my dream? What’s your dream? Obviously we aren’t all cut out to be the great historical figure MLK Jr. is. But are we surrounding ourselves with trusted friends, mentors, and respected people we look up to who will in turn prompt us onto greatness?

There is a difference between surrounding ourselves with yes men and surrounding ourselves with people who will urge us to go on when we are ready to sit down because we think we have accomplished all we have come to do.

What’s your dream? What is the thing the Lord has put you on this earth to do? What drives you? We may not be called to change the face of a nation but we have all been put on this earth for a purpose. Whatever it is we are called to do (no matter how big or small we perceive its greatness) the obedience required to walk faithfully before our God is the same.

What’s your dream?

http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/mahalia-jackson-the-queen-of-gospel-puts-her-stamp-on-the-march-on-washington is one site there are many others just do an internet search for Mahalia Jackson I Have a Dream Speech.

Thankfulness

I spoke at our annual Women’s function at church at the beginning of this month. I spoke on Manna and Christmas Delight and how Jesus really is both of those to and for us.

I was extremely crabby one morning as I was working on what I was going to speak about. I was trying to clean off the counters in the bathroom at it just seemed like things were dropping or tipping over. I hadn’t had my quota of coffee, everything seemed out of sync (no pun intended) and it was just a really blecky day.

You know when things aren’t going right even in the midst of the bleckiness of the mundane we are to give thanks to the Lord. So I started saying out loud “I am thankful for toothpaste. I am thankful for toilet paper.” Remember I said I was cleaning the bathroom…

I stopped in my tracks. I really am thankful for t.p. and toothpaste. I don’t think you really want or need me to go into great detail but think about how stinky and gross life would be without either. My mood immediately lifted.

Sometimes I think we over look being thankful for the seemingly small things in our lives, t.p., toothpaste, electricity, clean water when we turn on the tap, but if we were ever forced to be without these things just think of what an impact it would have on our lives.

Thankfulness doesn’t need to be an elaborate prayer it is something that can start as a small seed in our heart and grow from there. Without being to cliché I am trying to retrain myself to have an attitude of gratitude. Instead of dreading doing laundry I am thankful I have clothes, laundry detergent, and a machine or coins for the laundry mat. Instead of griping about dishes that need doing I need to be thankful I have a dishwasher.

That’s the easy part. The hard part is disciplining myself to catch the crabbiness before it gets away from me.

I am off to sweep my perpetually dirty floor…but I am reminding myself to be grateful I have a broom!

Lifted Burdens

I decided to stay a little longer at church service this morning than I usually do. More often than not I grab my stuff and go before the benediction song is done. I used to stay and seek the Lord at the altar after church but something happened to us at a different church about eight years ago and I just can’t bring myself to connect again with others on that level it truly freaks me out. I want to but I am not ready to put myself out there like that again. But that is not what this post is about.

So after the benediction prayer the worship team sings about four or five songs to bless the altar time and finish the service. As I was standing at my seat worshipping I envisioned myself walking up this path and I was weary, not necessarily physically but emotionally, mentally etc. The odd thing is instead of being in color the vision I had was in a brown hue. The land was dusty and parched void of any living plant.

I stopped walking. It wasn’t really a resting place. There was a big rock but no place for me to sit, there was nothing for me to drink yet I could not go another step. I was weary from my journey. I had a big over-stuffed back-pack I took off my back and put down onto the ground. I was sick of it and of carrying its weight. It had worn me down. So I quit.

Even though the things in the pack were once things of the utmost importance to me it no longer mattered to me if I got them to the place they needed to go. I had drained every ounce of my being trying to make those things function and to get them where they needed to be.

Immediately Jesus was there. He picked the pack up and slung it over his right shoulder and grabbed my right hand with His left and we started walking together.

I just thought I’d share.

Incense

We as a church body have been reading through the Bible this year. I have chosen to read out loud to my kids and because of one reason or another I am quite behind where I should be but am making steady progress to get finished. I am somewhere between a steam roller and a freight train in my focus.

Earlier this past week I started reading the book of Revelation. I have always been fascinated by Rev. 5:8 “And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of God’s people.” I am fascinated by the fact that God values the prayers of His people; He keeps them, they are savored, and they are a pleasing aroma to Him.

Last night I was reading Revelation 8 “ 1 When he opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour. 2 And I saw the seven angels who stand before God, and seven trumpets were given to them. 3 Another angel, who had a golden censer, came and stood at the altar. He was given much incense to offer, with the prayers of all God’s people, on the golden altar in front of the throne. 4 The smoke of the incense, together with the prayers of God’s people, went up before God from the angel’s hand. 5 Then the angel took the censer, filled it with fire from the altar, and hurled it on the earth; and there came peals of thunder, rumblings, flashes of lightning and an earthquake.” I so was overcome with emotion I had to stop reading. There was something so poignant about the prolonged silenced coupled with the preciousness of our prayers –my prayers- the tears just flowed. It was deeply personal.

This flood of realization came over my mind ~ the prayers aren’t segregated. One person’s prayer isn’t more important or more special than the others. Our prayers, my prayers, aren’t graded and they aren’t scaled. They are all precious and mixed together for the Purpose of the Almighty; and I am.in.awe.

(Scripture quotes from NIV)

Step by Step

I know where I am to end up in this life by that I mean I know what it is I have been called to do; I can see it in the distance.

The problem is I have no idea how to from point A to point B. The funny thing is I can see the end of the pathway just not the path. No markers that say ‘this way’ or signs that say ‘stay off this path!’.

I guess this is where the saying of walking out your faith comes from. It reminds me of one of the Star Wars movies…or was it an Indiana Jones? I am certain Harrison Ford is in it at any rate. He and his companions come to a place where they are trapped. They cannot go backwards as the door is either locked behind them or there are enemies if they return the way they came. But there is no bridge to cross the abyss in front of them to get to the other side. So they jump hoping for the best and out of no place there comes a bridge and they are able to pass safely to the other side.

Little by little, baby steps by baby steps I will get to where I am going as long as I continue to make forward motion.

The funny thing is the more I pray the more the steps are filled in. Much to my humor they are being filled in from point B towards me.

I was and still am a big Rich Mullins fan so I will leave you with a video of his song Step by Step. He talks for a little bit first if you have time listen to him. It’s worthwhile.