Who’s your neighbor?

I saw this cartoon the other day on a Facebook page. I immediately saved it to my PC, printed it out, and hung it on my refrigerator. It is a theme I have been mulling over in my mind for almost two weeks mainly because I am lacking finesse in this area. When I am angry I am angry and I could care less about caring for anyone. Instead of sheltering someone with an umbrella when I am mad I would rather poke them in the eye with it. However, rest assured, I never do.

We are just home from a 5 day, 5 states, 2,000 miles + road trip to Yellowstone. What fun it was…until it wasn’t. With that many hours and miles in the car we were bound to get on each other’s nerves. All four of us strong willed and me the only girl. Boundaries weren’t respected which finally chipped away at my patience. Things were said that weren’t really meant. Much to my mortification there were several times I thought we were acting more like the family on Honey-Boo-Boo than we were ourselves. I sometimes wonder what makes my family act they way they do.

This ecard sums it up nicely…

I have been doing a lot of soul searching since we have been home because truthfully I am not sure what makes me sometimes act the way I do. I understand my people may not have been respecting boundaries on our vacation and they need to own their behavior. That being said I am choosing to focus on me since my behavior is the only behavior I can truly control. I am working on the difference in kindly setting boundaries in the calm and yelling trying to enforce them in the middle of the storm.

This soul searching and wondering makes the perfect segue to the second issue I have been mulling over for awhile.

I was standing out on the front porch talking to our friend and sort of neighbor Tom a month or so ago. He and his wife bought ten acres from us and they periodically stay on their property on the weekends. When they come to visit we have some great conversations.

On this particular day Tom started talking about the story of the Good Samaritan from Luke 10. In one sermon Tom heard on the Good Samaritan the speaker posed the question of ‘who is your neighbor?’ In addition to the usual answer of “everyone is your neighbor” the speaker had posed the question what if those living inside our households are our neighbor?

Here’s the parable from The Message:

Luke 10:25-37

The Message (MSG)

Defining “Neighbor”

²⁵ Just then a religion scholar stood up with a question to test Jesus. “Teacher, what do I need to do to get eternal life?”

²⁶ He answered, “What’s written in God’s Law? How do you interpret it?”

²⁷ He said, “That you love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and muscle and intelligence—and that you love your neighbor as well as you do yourself.”

²⁸ “Good answer!” said Jesus. “Do it and you’ll live.”

²⁹ Looking for a loophole, he asked, “And just how would you define ‘neighbor’?”

^30-32 Jesus answered by telling a story. “There was once a man traveling from Jerusalem to Jericho. On the way he was attacked by robbers. They took his clothes, beat him up, and went off leaving him half-dead. Luckily, a priest was on his way down the same road, but when he saw him he angled across to the other side. Then a Levite religious man showed up; he also avoided the injured man.

^33-35 “A Samaritan traveling the road came on him. When he saw the man’s condition, his heart went out to him. He gave him first aid, disinfecting and bandaging his wounds. Then he lifted him onto his donkey, led him to an inn, and made him comfortable. In the morning he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take good care of him. If it costs any more, put it on my bill—I’ll pay you on my way back.’

³⁶ “What do you think? Which of the three became a neighbor to the man attacked by robbers?”

³⁷ “The one who treated him kindly,” the religion scholar responded.

Jesus said, “Go and do the same.”

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+10%3A25-37&version=MSG

The point I took away from the conversation with Tom is we (I) need to be in tune with the people in our household. Unlike the man on the road to Jericho sometimes our families’ wounds are not going to obvious to the physical eye. Sometimes the wounds are going to be soul wounds caused by others or caused by ourselves. Which means sometimes we will lash out at each other in our woundedness, or in our selfishness.

For those of you who have heard me speak you know I am fascinated by word definitions. So I looked up the meaning of kindness in Greek here http://biblesuite.com/greek/5485.htm . I love this word! Here is the definition of kindness it is the same as the word grace:

“xáris ("grace") answers directly to the Hebrew (OT) term 2580 /Kaná ("grace, extension-toward"). Both refer to God freely extending Himself (His favor, grace), reaching (inclining) to people because He is disposed to bless (be near) them.”

The Samaritan’s heart went out to the man who was beaten. So as the mother/wife of this home I need to be reaching towards my family (not to smite their smart mouths) but to extend God’s kindness to them.

I am convinced this kindness includes setting healthy boundaries which govern our words and actions when we are upset with each other. This kindness sets boundaries in which we all can healthily and freely express ourselves and function.

I can’t imagine the stress that comes with being a teenager today. I also can’t imagine the stress my husband has with being the primary, and for most of our marriage, the only breadwinner in this house. Does this stress excuse unhealthy behavior? Absolutely not! But me reacting to their unkindness in an unkind way only adds fuel to the fire. As an extension of the Lord’s hand I need to practice kindness in my own household first. I need to be inclined to look past behavior and get to the real issues at hand, and if my words add to the ugliness I am not helping anyone. Especially me.

It looks like it’s time to brush the dust off the Love and Logic books and relearn some phrases to help with setting healthy boundaries!